Earlier this week I read the heart-breaking story of Pastor John Gibson’s suicide following his exposure in the Ashley Madison hack. If you aren’t aware, some 400 pastors and church leaders have been identified on this list for soliciting an affair online. The story shook me to the core. Not because I didn’t know these situations existed.
Because SHAME took another man’s life, even though Christ’s blood already covered it.
Some critics will point to this story and say Christianity is a hoax filled with hypocrites.
Some within the church will point to the Bible and say he disqualified himself from ministry.
GUILT…
SHAME…
DEATH
But who looks to Scripture and asks, "How do we restore a broken pastor?"
Any church that understands TRUTH and GRACE will do just that. Isn’t that how the gospel teaches us to deal with sin? Isn’t RESTORATION central to the gospel message? Sure, elders/pastors are held to a higher standard according to James 3:1.But, with greater responsibility comes greater accountability, and greater vulnerability to public shame and rebuke. So, if their sin and shame become public, there is not a better time to publicly display the church's understanding of truth and grace. After all, the best indicator of how a church shows grace to its membership is found in the way it treats its pastors in their struggles.
Churches are notorious for living in the extremes when defining these terms. Truth often means throwing the book at a person. “Busted! We’ve got you now! You’re done!” If you step outside of truth, someone will be there to let you know; you’ll get “churched,” and that’s not a good thing. In this context the church values being right over restoration. On the other extreme, there are those who define grace as permission to sin. “It’s no big deal. Who are we to judge? Nobody is perfect!” In this context the church will never be able to grasp accountability and restoration.
But that’s not what the biblical narrative teaches. In light of TRUTH the church says, "What you did was wrong. Own it. It’s ok to not be ok; everyone struggles."
Admitting your sin is admitting your need for Jesus.
In light of GRACE the church says, "Your life is not over. Your family may be hurt, your church may not understand, but they still love you and want to see your healing and restoration play out. We want to lovingly walk through this process with you."
Accepting His grace is admitting that you can’t fix your problems on your own.
I don’t pretend to be intimately aware of the details of this tragic story. I do not know his family or anything about his church. They may fully understand these things. They may have been committed to biblical truth and grace. I am, however, aware of my own struggles with sin as a pastor of 19 years. As a young pastor in my early 20's my insecurities were concealed by a confident exterior. No one knew that an addiction to porn acquired as a teenager had resurfaced. They couldn't know. I was a pastor. I had preached against this sin. It was my job to guide others past sin. How could I be entangled and have any platform to help others? Who would listen to me? I had an image to keep! I understand the immense pressure to live up to the expectations of the church. I have my own story of failure. I know the shame that I carried for many years. The pain of hiding sin. The tiresome act. The fear of losing respect; the fear of losing my ministry.
So, all I can do is try to understand this situation in light of my own story. I can’t help but wonder if Pastor Gibson’s death is a result of a church culture that lacked the wonderful paradox of both truth and grace. The very shame that was destroying his life ultimately took it. A tragic twist in his story; but it did not have to end. Christ gave his life in order for our lives to have another chapter.
So what are the implications for The Story Church? As your pastor, I don’t want to model superficial living. If I pretend that all is well while I’m easily tripped up by sin, then I will create a culture of make-believe within our church. Instead, we value authenticity over image management because biblical community is built on honesty and transparency. Paul had this understanding when he reminded Timothy that Christ came to save sinners and the he was the greatest sinner of all (1 Timothy 1:15). Paul told the church at Philippi:
“What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
In the same way, as your pastor I tell you that I want you to follow me, not in perfection, but as I strive to model transparency. Let’s be committed as a church to live in authentic community, refusing to play the church game. Let’s reject plastic living and embrace our struggles so that the real gospel of Jesus can be lived out within our community of believers. After all...